“I am fearless, I feel no pain.”
“Uh-huh, is that why you are refusing to drink or eat right now?”
“I’m on a strict diet!”
“You mean you are too scared to go see the dentist and get that tooth pulled out.”
“I don’t want to waste money, I will be right,” I said. “It will go away by itself.”
Jonah knew that was a lie, and so did his wife Sheena. The truth was simple, I am fearless and tough except for when it comes down to going to the dentist.
Ever since I was a young boy I have heard horror stories of people going in through those doors, when they returned they were no longer the same person that went in. I heard those dark words of dentists forcing a tube down your throat, gas emitting from the end. How the man behind the light blue mask would laugh just like the crazy scientists in the old-time movies. A cackle that would make any tough man worry. Tears would stream from some of the toughest men I have ever known; wallets once full now empty, mouths once housing teeth now bare holes, a solemn reminder of what once was.
The thought of going anywhere near a dentist’s office makes me, like the girls are around me, weak at the knees. Oh, sure my wife would roll her eyes and say that I should get over myself. And I would if I could find a reason to, but alas I am perfection. Sorry, I am getting distracted by the reflection in the mirror. The fine pick pierces through the gap in between the teeth, scraping food stuck within the hidden hole, now exposing a nerve. I can tell you, the pain wasn’t so bad before. Now with the nerve exposed, it hurts, but I am not going to let anyone else know how bad it hurts though. Walking out of the bathroom I notice the person in the mirror gives me a wink. A normal reaction for someone of my caliber.
I mean have you seen those advertisements? The ads where the patient is going to see the doctor, if you can call them that. Those patients that look like Captain America and the dentist that clearly didn’t do university instead they walked the runway until television executives picked them up. Real people don’t have a chiseled jaw and a smile that could get you pregnant with one flash of the pearly whites. Well, I mean I do but I am a high quality, I am a rarity in a world of oysters. Dentist offices from what I remember as a kid were dark dank places, the smell of death lingering in the air. The man that would hold hostage a gorgeous assistant, kept to distract you while they invade your insides. His face like the back end of a bus, no wonder I am scared now.
“I have booked you in to see the dentist tomorrow at nine,” Sheena said putting down the phone.
“You did what now?”
“Jonah” her voice dragging out my name, “you need to fix that tooth, you can’t eat just air.”
“Why not? The vegans are doing it.”
The look on my wife’s face disapproved of my remark
“What? They are probably on the dentist’s side.”
“What side? Stop being so melodramatic.” She turned to walk back towards the kitchen.
“Melodramatic, pfft, I’ll give you melodramatic.”
Women geez they think they own you when you put a ring on their finger. Grabbing some pain killers, I sit down in front of the television. The shows have no hold on me, The image of a serial killer in a dentist’s outfit plagued my mind till sleep took over.
The sun shone bright, warmth fell over my face as I tried to delay the appointment.
“Get in there Jonah, I am just going into the shops I will see you in an hour.”
“No, you won’t I may never return.”
“Oh whatever just get in there.”
Walking through the doors of Gentle Dental, I am greeted by a beautiful woman. The reception area is clean, fresh flowers held in a vase sat to the right of the counter.
“Come in, Jonah.” Another female worker cooed.
“Thank you.” I manage to muster as I am, led down a long hallway by the leggy blonde.
We walk past a few doors, the rooms well lit. Scents of lavender fill the air, as patients smile and chat with their dentists’. Those wearing the masks, looking more like myself then the evil characters my mind is having me believe. I guess I was being irrational.
“Just through the door on your left” She smiled, pointing towards the last door in the hallway. Her badge flashing, Jasmine.
“Thank you, Jasmine.” I nodded and smiled.
Did I just notice her blush? Another one I can add to my book, I laugh.
The room was beautiful well, as beautiful as an office room could be. The chair sat in the middle of the room, a small sink lay to the left side. Lavender scents filled the air, as I sit down. Ready to rid, myself of these silly old stories of dentists using good looking men as, cosmetic paste in their surgeries. Why did I even believe in that story?
“Hello Jonah.” A male voice spoke, “My name is Matthew I am your dentist today, how are you?” The voice belonged to a striking young man, his face one to be admired.
“I am doing well,” I respond, staring into the eyes of the model dentist.
“That is good, now what can we do for you today.” The blonde had made her way behind me, strapping a blue napkin around my neck and handing me protective eye-wear.
“I have a hole in my tooth, it appears the nerve is exposed.”
“Okay, I want you to lie back and let me take a look.”
I lean back a smile on my face as I sigh a breath of relief.
“You are right, Jonah. I am going to insert some anesthetic now, it may sting a little.”
A few minutes pass while my mouth is invaded by the needle. A few sharp jabs later and the numbing agent was starting to work.
“Now Jonah, while the anesthetic is settling in, would you go to the front counter and pay for today’s visit.” A caring smile was upon his face.
“Sure thing doc,” I said hoping up from the chair. Once the money was transferred into the business’ account I wait until Jasmine called me back.
“How do you feel now?”
“I feel comfortably numb.” with a smile.
“Great let’s get started” he nodded towards Jasmine. “You can turn the gas off now.”
“Gas off? Wait, what?” I start to worry.
“Oh, it isn’t anything to worry about.” Dr. Matthews laughed,
A waterfall effect shimmered before my eyes. The laughter a cackle, warts appeared on his face. Jasmine’s long legs shortened looking more like tree trunks than pins, her body losing its tight figure her face still held beauty, though her age had increased dramatically.
“What is happening?!”
“Well, Jonah. We are short on our cosmetic pastes this month and with your beautiful skin we believe you are going to make a good product for us.”
The room once a bright white now a damp dungeon. A lamp in the corner held just enough light to cast dark shadows upon a table in the corner. Handsaws, French knives and clamps were among some of the rusty looking tools on top.
“No, this must be a joke. The drugs must be playing tricks on me.”
“Unfortunately not Jonah now, hold still this will hurt a bit.”
Jasmine finished buckling my arms down, I tried to break free, and am unsuccessful. Dr. Matthew leaned in a pair of pliers in his hand, scissors nearby.
“Now let’s remove the tongue before he screams the house down.”
Pain coursed through my mouth as my tongue was being pulled out, the cold touch of the scissors snipping down on my tongue forcing me to lose consciousness. The last thing I remember was the smell, a waft had drifted past my nose. A, deep, strong smell of death.
Note: I did actually go to the dentist two days ago to get a tooth removed. I am glad to say that I am not dead, and the dentist and his team did a wonderful job.